spikesgirl58 (spikesgirl58) wrote in thrushies,

Recently discovered in a raid

An Agent's Guide to Dirty Tricks - women only

Ladies, you know how it is. You let those UNCLE agents wine and dine you until you are bored to tears and ready to scream from their unimaginative approach to life. Then suddenly your male counterparts swoop in and take your glory. There is no honor among thieves it would seem.

What's a girl to do? Your best weapon is at your fingertips. No, not cyanide tipped fingernails' although those can be helpful in a pinch. No, it's your purse. Be it a clutch or something more substantial, never underestimate its importance.

Take for instance, the compact that doubles as a communication device and keeps your nosy from being shiny. THRUSH scientists have worked hard to make it both functional and fashionable. A quick call to a nearby UNCLE agent, anonymously, of course, will do wonders for your male competitors' success rate.

The lipstick houses a small but adequate laser. Just remember to flick the switch the right way or the results could be disastrous... for him.

Your blush not only gives your cheeks the kiss of youth, but it can be used as improvised C-4 by adding just a touch from your atomizer. Let's see a man pull that out of his jacket pocket.

Lastly, it's hard to forget about that time of the month. Being perky, seductive, coy, and witty is tough enough without have cramps to go with it. Put those tampons to good use! One down the gas tank and the car is going nowhere. Imagining how embarrassing that could be to the jerk who was promoted ahead of you.

Remember, ladies, it's not just THRUSH vs. UNCLE. It's also girls against boys. We already out-live, out-work and out-shine them. We will win and we will reap the biggest rewards, but only if we band together.

To Victory!
Tags: nefarious schemes
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